Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
