shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
