just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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