She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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