he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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