You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
