I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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