Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
