he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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