I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
