you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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