yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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