Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
