she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
