i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
