i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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