Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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