I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
