on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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