I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
