Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
