i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
