let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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