I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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