Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize