I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
