thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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