He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
