Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
