Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
