just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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