South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize