then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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