Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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