So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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