i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
