I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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