Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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