shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
