If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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