He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
