im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
