I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize