Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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