today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
