he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
