If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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