and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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