What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize