Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
