Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
