Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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