i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize