Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
