Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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