good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
