you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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