Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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