Sponge bath it is.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize