i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
