If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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