Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
