The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
