Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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